The Venerable Curmudgn

Although I buy and sell whatever’s going, all kinds of Stuph (I’m not proud at all), I seem to be developing an affinity for finding good small appliances and electronics.  I’ve also had fun with flogging camera equipment, typewriters, a small telephone system, decorative swords and spears, and so on and so forth.  When I’m not at my day job or here, I work on my house, which is a continual Project by nature.

Descriptions.  I’ll make my best effort to describe the item accurately and if an item has warts, so to speak, I won’t pretend that it doesn’t.  If I’m mistaken or wrong on an item’s description or condition, or if I miss something significant about it, I’ll refund part or all of your purchase price.  I don’t need or want people thinking ill of me that way.  That doesn’t mean, though, that I’ll be sympathetic to a buyer who’s having a Christine Lavin moment and going, “What was I thinking??”  I believe fools should bear the burdens of their folly, as a salutary and edifying lesson.

Communication.  It’s the responsibility of the high bidder to contact me within three business days after the auction closes.  I generally send out a contact email to the high bidder pretty promptly, myself, but if I can’t that does not relieve the bidder of his responsibility.

Payment.  I’ll accept payment by personal or company check, cashier’s or certified check, or money order.  Payment must be in US dollars and drawn on a US bank.  I am also able to accept Visa and MasterCard payment through PayPal or BidPay.  Payment by personal or company check means that the item will be subject to a five-business-day hold before the item’s shipped, to clear the check; payment by money order, certified check or credit card will receive immediate shipment.  Except in extraordinary circumstances, and arranged in advance, I expect payment within ten calendar days after the close of bidding.  Failure to do that will void the transaction, and I may re-list the item, leave negative feedback for the bidder, or file a formal complaint with eBay at my discretion.  I’m not a nice person to know when I’m annoyed.

Feedback.  I give feedback on transactions, and I expect it as well from my customers, for failing to give feedback on a transaction is a major breach of eBay etiquette.  I’ll wait to post feedback until I hear from you that the item’s arrived intact, so potential problems and issues can be resolved first, if needed.  And if you have negative feedback or hidden feedback, just go away, don’t even bother bidding, and don’t pester me.  I don’t need that kind of customer.

Shipping.  I do charge actual shipping cost to the buyer, and may charge handling/packing also if it’s an item that takes a lot of packaging.  For domestic shipment within the US and Canada, I use either the Postal Service or United Parcel Service Standard Ground service, depending on price, speed, and fragility of the item.  Generally, I find that UPS is the better value, and better risk, but YMMV.  If a buyer wants to specify a particular method of shipment, I’ll make an effort to accommodate the request.  I ship my items insured as a matter of course; I learned as a buyer that even the best packing isn’t always able to withstand the silverback mountain gorillas who seem to handle boxes in transit.  Overseas customers, don’t even think about asking me to falsify customs declarations, or to fake valuations.  I ain’t a-gonna do it, no, sir.

Force majeure.  Although I strive toward perfection in promptness, at times my real-world life does intervene and pull me away for a short time.  If that happens and you’re concerned about a transaction, email me!  Even if things are going to Hades in a handbasket, I manage to read my email daily and can reply to you about it.

When I’m the buyer.  I’ll try to behave the same way that I want my buyers to behave—civil and prompt to respond, prompt to pay, prompt to give feedback on a transaction or allow the seller to make right a transaction gone wrong.  Yet as I said above, don’t expect me to be a pushover.  I’m particular about the condition and quality of what I buy, and I’m not nice to know when I’m annoyed.

The Summary of the Law and the Prophets.  I expect courtesy, promptness, honesty, and care on both sides of a transaction.