www.FUNnFORTUNE.com

and the German Judge Only Gave Me a "6.5"

MY JOB:

I'm not really a nun.  I just play one on the Internet.

I am a professional super model!  My talent is in demand for unusual headwear and safety glasses (see my glamour shot).  I have also worked in television on the Home Shopping Network promoting gourmet cookware and skillets.  As "The Frying Nun" ...

Dumpster Diving has always been a favorite sport of mine.  I do not do it professionally, but I am looking forward to having my own grocery cart and diving all day long when I retire from super-modeling. 

MY HOBBIES:

I am always looking to add to my horrendous collection of empty Cool Whip containers.

Reading is a favorite pastime. I am currently reading Webster's Dictionary, which has kept me on the edge of my seat wondering how it will end!  It took me five years to finish the Oxford one. I couldn't figure out the plot.

During the week I rarely have time to watch television between dumpsters and photo sessions. I do videotape the daily reports on the Weather Channel and the Daily Mass for Shut-Ins so I can watch them all on the weekend.

MY STYLE:

As far as fashion goes, I like to accessorize. I wear my gray industrial strength bifocal safety glasses when I'm on the job or in a dumpster. The black elastic band that fits around the back of my head always matches my knee-high stockings or tube socks.

I am 53 years old and would you believe that I don't look a day over 75, in the dark!  My secret is in the magic of "Bag Balm", sold in pet stores everywhere.  It works much better than the more expensive expired cosmetics and health & beauty supplies found in the dumpsters behind the Dollar Store.

MY HERITAGE:

I am 100% Craquepaughte, with Bon Vivant genes on all sides of my family.

SOME QUIET INSPIRATION:

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are or who the person is you are talking to.  Then on the way out, slam the door.