Guido's Wagon Is Open
"Hey, You're In Guido's Parking Space!!!"
Thanks for stopping by Guido's Wagon.
Take care not to take his parking spot as he carries no liability insurance . . . .
Who's gonna tell him it was his fault . . . thus no insurance.
Check out Guido's prior record at www.roguegypsygames.com. Ya its a plug, but it seemed funny at the time.
Anyhow, I am Guido's Accountant. I am Guido's mouth. I do whatever Guido says . . . most of the time. I don't enjoy it, but the pay is gre . . . no, that's not it. Ya, the chow, its that awesome chow Guido throws . . . awe, my aching kindeys. Not the cash, not the food . . . its gotta be the travel. The site, the sounds, the people. Its all so lovely . . . here, all day, EVERY STINKIN' DAY. No cash, no food, no travel. Anyone wanna job?
The Story of the Rogue Gypsy and the . . . (well, isn't there always an "and the")
One quick promo before we start - check the official home of Guido, Ed, and Solomon, at
www.roguegypsygames.com
MORE cool stuff to buy!! Sorry about the plug, but you don't have to keep Guido in footpowder.
Chapter 1:
After a long night of carousing, you finally made it up to your room. You would have been feeling better except for the fact that you have skim off the . . . oh, gods know what is was, from the beer. Maybe the rumor is true . . . TJ's Brew is actually Toe Jams Brew, outlawed in over fifty counties already. Oh well, as you crawl into the bunk the floor shifts below your feet and you somehow over shoot the bed and end up on the floor. You seem to remember a load BANG just before the world shifted. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!! Suddenly there is a commotion outside your window. As you walk over, you see at the same level as your 2nd floor window, a huge head . . . thankfully attached to an equally huge body. What an ugly brut!!! Behind him is the . . . oh gods that beer was ripe . . . is the . . . BURRRRPPPPP . . . what appears to be a leg . . . attached to a body taller than the inn. An even uglier brut!! Has to be the beer. Looking out the window finally, you see a little green fellow pleading with the the smaller of the two huge ones . . . something about it not being his fault. Strewn across the ground behind a wagon, firmly imbedded in the side of the inn are all sorts of goodies . . .yup, it has to be . . .Guido and his buddies . . . Solomon the Goblin and Ed the Giant.
Chapter 2:
Running down the stairs from your rooms in the Ogre's Armpit Inn, you spill out into the courtyard
as the avalanche of people carry you outside. Towering above you is a hideous abomination of nature . . .
Guido's Body Guard . . . God's the stench. Ten plus feet of pure nastiness (both in smell and appearance).
It's Ed . . . "just Ed, and that's all he'll ever be" you've heard others say of him - not really sure what they meant by that. Shouting draws your attention to Guido and the creature that apparently crashed the gypsy wagon into the Inn.
Guido (yup, it's true, he's an Oger) has the little fellow in nasty hold, the nose pinch/lift. One handed, Guido has picked him up by the nose and . . is looking at him eye to eye. Snot and tears run from the
orifices on the little, hmmm goblin, you think. He whines and whines about not being his fault. Guido, simply rumbles a " Ya, right, just like the last time". "No, not , like last time!! I, I, I, . . . it was Ed's fault," Squeaks
the little green one. Without a second thought, Ed raise both arms straight into the air. Guido, releases the nose hold and subsequently punts the squealer right through Ed's uprights. Guido, watching the squealing figure, grumbles something about the amazing durability of Solomon the Goblin.
Chapter 3:
Was it all a dream, . . . did you actually meet Guido the Gypsy and his guards, Ed and Solomon? Did you actually help him remove his wagon from the inn wall . . . the sound of the crash sure is reminicent. Oh ya, the smell . . . whew did he stink. Of course, he introduced you to the stew that had mysteriously remained in the pot after the crash. Oh man . . . there is an aweful taste in your mouth. Did you actually eat some of that swill? Is it possible to have a black-out episode from something you ate? You shudder as you wonder what happened while you where in that state of ignorance.
Well, its a new day, the sun is out and your gear is replenished. Looks like a good day to laze around and . . . Oh, that sound hurts!!! Who is knocking at your door so early!! "WHAT ON EARTH, " you whisper. Yup, that hurt the ears too.
A screechy voice on the other side of the door replies, "Time to earn your keep, sluggo." Your neck tightens, your bowels go to water and your earnestly reply, "Ummm, pardon me?". A pointy nose slips through the door followed by the silly visage of Solomon the Goblin. "According to this contract you signed here, sluggo (man, that voice could shatter glass), you work for me, errr, ahhh, Guido, now . . . are you crying? I've never seen a human cry before. No crying, . . . I mean it!!! Stop it!! Ah, you look so pathetic, sluggo. Hey, this will make ya feel better, . . . your pay is all the stew you can eat!!!"
For Chapter 4: Go to www.roguegypsygames.com
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