|
This is my posting ID, you should have one, too. The reason for creating a posting ID is to reduce the possibilities of auction interference from someone who may disagree with your opinions. I am not a newbie, I have more than 5,000 transactions on my “real” eBay accounts.
Glossary of Common Board Abbreviations:
NARU = Not A Registered User
PITA = Pain In The Asterix
TOS = Terms Of Sale
INR = Item Not Received
FB = Feedback
MO = Money Order
OP = Original Post(er)
DSR = Detailed Seller Ratings
ISP = Internet Service Provider
SNAD = (Item) Significantly Not As Described
FVF = Final Value Fees
NPB = Non-Paying Bidder
EB = Empty Box, what you see if you have the poster on "Ignore"
NPS = Non-Performing Seller
B&M = Brick and Mortar, a "real" store
CYE = Check Your Email
Helpful Links
http://www.toolhaus.org/
http://auctiontrax.com/
http://www.goofbay.com/
http://www.sellerdome.com/
Murphy’s Laws of Ebay
"We talk and listen to customers, but for this kind of innovation, customers don't always know what they want."
- John Donahoe, CEO of eBay
General
1. Ebay is run by people who don’t use Ebay.
2. The more desirable the item listed, the less likely Best Match is to display it in your search result.
3. Checks and MO’s can be accepted as payment, as long as it doesn’t say so in the listing.
4. A Seller who ships slowly gets suspended, a Seller who sells fakes gets a new ID.
5. If you question your violation of any Ebay rule, exactly what you did will be used as an example of what is permitted in the policy Ebay sends you back in their reply.
6. Links provided in Ebay’s answer to your question will not apply in your case.
7. Links provided in Ebay’s answer to your question which do apply are dead.
8. When reporting a problem, only your 4th and 7th report will be reviewed.
9. Self-adhesive labels aren’t.
10. The “improvement” you detest the most is now missing its’ “Opt Out” button.
11. Any item which is heavy is slightly too big to fit in a Flat Rate Box.
12. The more important the question being asked on the Discussion Boards, the more likely the responders will choose to discuss the OP’s spelling and grammar errors.
13. Rare, hard-to-find items are rare, and hard-to-find.
14. If it’s not broken yet Ebay will fix it.
15. It's against Ebay's policy to use suggestions from members.
Buying
1. The color of the item you just won is not the same as the color displayed on your monitor.
2. The reflection of the flash used to take the picture of the item always hides the biggest flaw.
3. Whenever you bookmark a good Seller, they NARU.
4. When you need something right away, the Seller waits two weeks to ship.
5. When you don’t care when you receive the item, the Seller will only ship using Next Day Air.
6. Every Seller you have ever bought from combines shipping, except the one where you just won seven auctions.
7. The horse-shoe you won will be double-boxed and covered securely in bubble-wrap.
8. The vase you won will be wrapped in brown paper and string.
9. The amount of care spent packing any item is inversely proportional to its’ value.
10. The Seller that only you knew about with the best deals and most unique items can’t list anymore.
11. You only find out what leaving all 4’s on the DSR’s REALLY means after all your favorite Sellers are NARU.
12. If you get a good deal on a designer item, it is a fake.
13. There is always a sniper, unless you overbid.
14. As soon as you have won the lot of twenty items to get the one particular item you are missing to complete your collection, the one particular item will be listed individually.
15. If you’re planning on sniping an item, the listing ending time will pass during a power outage.
16. Any item which looks great smells funny.
17. While the Seller may live in a “pet-free, non-smoking” home, that’s not where the item is originally from.
18. The item you have been searching for is listed, but the keyword you’re using in your search was miss-spelled in the listing.
Selling
1. If you have maintained a redundant computer, scale, printer, scanner, ink, labels, and camera, the only modem that your ISP provided you will fail.
2. The customers who want to buy from you every week only leave 4-star DSR’s.
3. The item you receive back following a SNAD claim will not be the same one you sent.
4. When you have finally completed editing your 700 archived listings, Ebay will change the requirements for what is permissible in the Terms of Sale.
5. You find your scale is weighing 0.5 ounces light immediately after mailing one hundred 15.7 ounce items internationally.
6. Your DSR’s will be adequate to ensure a FVF discount for the entire month, except for the few hours when your discount is actually calculated.
7. If a bidder asks several detailed questions about your item, they will not bid.
8. The PITA Buyer you just blocked has several ID’s.
9. The more time you spend perfecting your TOS, the less likely the Buyer is to read it.
10. If you ship using a cheaper method, your Shipping Time star will drop.
11. If you ship using a faster method, your Shipping Charges star will drop.
12. Time waiting for an e-check to clear is counted against your Shipping Time DSR.
13. Currency conversion fees for international sales are counted against your Shipping Charges DSR.
14. It is the Seller’s job to communicate Ebay’s DSR policy.
15. Any item you list internationally will be banned in at least one country.
16. Any item sent without Delivery Confirmation results in an INR claim.
17. Any item sent with Delivery Confirmation results in an INR claim.
18. An item will always cost more money to ship than Ebay’s shipping caps will allow you to charge.
19. The better the Feedback comment, the more likely it is that the Buyer thinks 4 star DSR’s really mean “good”.
20. The sub-title you paid extra for is not a searchable field.
21. There is always another fee.
22. Free Shipping lowers your Shipping Charges DSR.
23. If you have an ample supply of an item, it will not sell.
24. Once you finally list a hot item, four other Sellers will list the exact same item the same day.
25. If your descriptions are “Accurate”, Buyers are “Satisfied” with your communications, and you ship “Quickly” with “Reasonable” shipping charges, Ebay will suspend your selling account.
26. Anything you change to raise your DSR’s will lower your DSR’s.
27. Just because a Buyer never paid for an item doesn’t mean they can’t leave feedback for the “transaction”.
28. No matter what they actually do, Buyers can only receive positive feedback.
29. The time an item spends in Customs is counted against your Shipping Time DSR.
30. If you’re suspended from selling, you have to sell more to be allowed to sell again.
Frequently asked questions about our auctions
Q: I read in your listing where it says you will combine shipping and describes in detail how shipping is combined, and the costs. Do you combine shipping?
A: No, we combine shipping.
*****
Q: I saw in your listing that you say you ship worldwide, and provided the cost to each location in the USPS database, plus a link to the USPS website so I could verify for myself that there is indeed shipping service available to my country. Will you ship this item to my country?
A: No, we can only ship worldwide.
*****
Q: I’m ridiculously cheap and I’d like to get this for much less than others are willing to pay you. I don’t want to bid against other people on Ebay who may bid more than me and I’m hoping you’re an idiot. Do you have a Buy-it-Now price on this? Will you end the auction early?
A: We do not offer Buy-it-Now prices or end any auctions early. We don’t have a reason or incentive to do so.
*****
Q: What if I tell you I’d like to inspect this, just to get you to meet me there... and then I'll make an insulting cash offer. Would that be ok?
A: Certainly. Sometimes I run a little late, so you just be sure to wait for as long as it takes for me to get there.
*****
Q: But if I really just want to inspect the thing before bidding and promise to behave myself, is a personal inspection ok?
A: Yes, of course.
*****
Q: I don't need everything... I just want one piece. Can you sell me just the one piece I want?
A: Now that’s just crazy. Why would we do that?
*****
Q: It’s the last hour of the auction, and I have a list of questions I’d like answered immediately. Can I send these questions to you and expect answers to all my questions?
A: Absolutely, I’ll get back to you just as soon as the auction has ended.
*****
Q: What’s your bottom line price? How much do you want for this thing?
A: I’ll take one Dollar more than the next highest bidder. The price is not determined by me... it's all up to you. If you like what you see, just go ahead and bid whatever you want to pay. This is a real, honest auction with no baloney.
*****
Q: I’d like to take advantage of Ebay’s new feedback policy… you know, the one where the buyer can do whatever they want after winning the bid without any punishment or penalty for his actions, including things like disputing the bid price, asking for free bonus items, or disappearing into thin air. I may do all of the above. What are your thoughts?
A: Yes, it’s an interesting new approach to business by Ebay… taking the concept of “The customer is always right” to an insane level. Anyway, pay your bill, get your item and enjoy… and everyone’s happy.
*****
Q: Your auction says "pick up only". I am far away and I want to bid. Why won't you ship this?
A: Some things are just way to big and complicated for us to pack. We realize we limit ourselves to the 24 million people who live within an hour's drive of our place when we make an item "pick up only", but it works for us.
*****
Q: I only leave DSR scores of four, at a maximum, because I believe nobody is perfect, and no matter how good your service, nobody deserves a five. Is it OK if I buy from you every week?
A: Sure, I have no interest at all in this business, so go ahead and get me restricted from selling. It’s all about giving you more choices as a buyer!
*****
Q: Even though I left you positive feedback, I slaughtered you on the DSRs because Ebay tells me they’re anonymous and I thought you wouldn’t notice. Why am I now blocked from bidding on your auctions?
A: You’re only blocked from bidding on this auction. I’ll be sure to lift the restriction on your account when I’m selling clues.
*****
Q: I am a buyer with a 100% positive feedback rating! Is it OK if I bid on your auctions?
A: Yes, that certainly IS impressive! You are unique, just like everyone else!
*****
Q: I just won your auction. Do I actually have to pay for it now?
A: No, no you don’t. That is permitted under eBay’s new rules, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it either.
|