................ABOUT 150,000 YEARS AGO A CONVOY OF ALIEN NAVIGATORS ON AN EXPEDITION TO OUR SOLAR SYSTEM SET UP BASE AT THE BOTTOM OF A CRATER ON URANUS...................... TWO OF THESE VISITORS WERE ASSIGNED TO VISIT THE EARTH AND SEARCH FOR LIFE FORMS AND ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITY AS WELL AS SPREAD THE UNIVERSAL RELIGION, GASTREMISSIONISM, WHICH HOLDS THAT THE VISIBLE UNIVERSE IS A BUBBLE FORMED BY AN ALL-POWERFUL SEA URCHIN-TYPE CREATURE'S EXPANDING FART.............................................<endline>

...............................ON THEIR VISIT THEY NOTICED THE PRIMITIVE HUMANS WORE AWKWARD CLOTHING AND LACKED MERCHANDISE AT CONCERTS AND OTHER EVENTS........................................................ARMED WITH THIS INFORMATION THEY RETURNED TO URANUS AND DEVELOPED THE PROTOTYPE FOR WHAT WOULD BECOME THE T-SHIRT..........................HOWEVER.........................ISOLATION FROM THEIR OWN SOLAR SYSTEM CAUSED THE CAPTAIN OF THE BASE ON URANUS TO BECOME CRAZY WITH POWER AND ORDERED THAT THEY WOULD ENSLAVE THE HUMANS BY MAKING T-SHIRTS THAT WOULD BRAIN WASH THE HUMANS THAT WORE THEM INTO JOINING HER ARMY WHEN SHE INVADES EARTH ON DECEMBER 23 2012........................................................... <endline>